We get to change our mind.
Isn’t that such great news?!
I started Jen Madden Coaching at the beginning of the year. A coaching practice has been something I have always wanted to do – for years. In fact, I purchased an online business course in 2012 to learn how to get started.
Um, I took the course in 2018.
Apparently, 2012 just wasn’t the right time for me.
In January 2019, I announced to the world that I am now the owner of Jen Madden Coaching. Talk about feeling vulnerable. I would, literally, would be telling people in a very calm, confident manner that I am setting up a coaching practice. Meanwhile, my brain was shouting in my head:
“Shut up, Jen! Stop telling people. Jeez, now you are going to have to do something with this business.”
Oh, our brains are funny little things.
I claimed 2019 as my SFD (Shitty First Draft). I just needed to get started and I would figure it out as I went...
When you disconnect from your truth, your wants, and desires, the things you know are good for you, you aren’t showing up for yourself.
If you want to achieve your goals ~ your legacy ~ you’ve got to keep your word to yourself. If you don’t, you are going facing the same goals over and over again. And then one day, you just might give up.
When you start with one thing – just one – and you consistently do it, something magical starts to happen.
Sure, taking action allows you to make strides towards achieving your goal, but the reward of self-trust is so much bigger. The more you do what you say you are going to do, the more you actually believe you are going to do it.
Let’s be honest. We have all had times when we told ourselves we were going to do something, but deep down we didn’t really believe that we were actually going to do. Do you remember that feeling when you actually did what you said you were...
How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.
~ Annie Dillard
The past two months were focused on keeping the end in mind. You spent time thinking about and deciding what you want your legacy to be. You were challenged on your level of commitment and whether or not what you want your legacy to be was a compelling reason to keep you committed. I talked about the reasons why people fail and how you needed to learn how to say 'no' to yourself to keep your commitment to yourself.
It is now time for action.
The magic of life is in action.
Think about how you want to be remembered – your legacy.
Are you living this life now? My guess is no. So what? No time like the present to get to work. If it is yes, great! You need a sustainability plan.
What is one thing that you could do regularly that would tremendously impact your personal life or your professional life?
Just one thing.
And remember, this is your legacy. This...
I love the phrase "blowing your own mind."
To make our brain evolve, we have to ask more of it than it's already doing. Yet, our temptation is to stay where we're at, to stay safe, to hide, to seek pleasure, to expend as little of our energy as possible. If we listen to our primitive brain, we will stop evolving. We have to evolve beyond our current brain. That's what a commitment can do. That's what a compelling reason can do. That's what telling yourself, "No," can do.
Here's how to do it.
Number one, you have to refuse confusion. Refuse it. It's always a lie. You won't commit because you don't know how. That's the worst reason not to commit. You will try to convince yourself that you need to understand precisely how you're going to do something.
You need to be able to commit to the result, and then make as many mistakes as you need to make to learn how to do it, to get the result you want. You don't have to know already exactly how to do it. You're just committing to...
Think about what it is you want. Then ask yourself, "Why don't I have it already?"
The answer is that your compelling reason is not strong enough. Your conflicting desires and your reasons for not doing it are too strong.
For some of you, it may be safety. For some of you, it may be the avoidance of discomfort. For some of you, it may be that you're afraid, and so you want to hide. You may believe that it will be too much work. You may think that it will be too hard. You may afraid of putting yourself out there in the world and being vulnerable.
When you pick something specific to do, you have to recognize why you don't have that already. There will be distractions including your current pattern of thinking. Remember, your brain has to decide what information to filter out. It has to determine what's important to pay attention to.
The only thing my brain needs to pay attention to is everything it needs to do.
My brain wants to tell me how much work it's going to be. My brain...
What determines our level of success is our level of commitment. Our level of commitment will determine our resilience. Our level of commitment is determined by our compelling reason.
If the life of someone you loved were on the line, you would have a compelling reason to do whatever it took to save their life. You wouldn't be worried about feelings getting hurt. You wouldn't worry about rejection. You wouldn't worry about how much time or effort you put into something. All of that would become irrelevant. You would become very clear and very focused on the end result because you have to save your loved one's life.
This is an extreme example, but it demonstrates the value of a compelling reason.
When you know that someone has a compelling reason, you know they are going to stay committed. When their goal is burning inside of them, you are not going to question their commitment.
Often, when we set a goal for ourselves. We are...
You decided what you want your legacy to be.
You need to make sure you fully own that decision. I didn't ask you to think about and see maybe what you want or don't want your legacy to be. I asked you to decide.
You have to decide because often you will have competing aspirations, and you are going to have to reaffirm what you want over and over again.
Let’s say your legacy is “I want to be someone who prioritizes my health because I believe good health is important to live an active life.”
Except life happens. You find yourself wanting to sleep in and miss your morning exercise class, or you are at your favorite restaurant and you are tempted to indulge in a dessert even though you are full. You need to decide - health or chocolate cake?
Or maybe your legacy is “I want to be the best employee I can be so that I am viewed as a valuable resource to my manager and my colleagues."
I want to be an example of what is possible.
This is what I want my legacy to be. I hope you took the time to come up with what you want your legacy to be. This is going to be the statement that you lean on when you need encouragement to show up every day…even when you don’t feel like it.
So now what?
You need to break this down to define exactly what it means for you.
Here is a sample of my breakdown:
I want to be an example of an outstanding manager. I want other managers to know that managing people is rewarding and that it is okay to be imperfect. I am going to show up for my team by letting them know I appreciate their work, that I trust them, and that I enjoy working with them.
I want to be an example of someone who takes her health seriously. I want others to know it is possible to live a healthy lifestyle and not be miserable. I am going to show up by exercising regularly and choosing to eat foods that fuel my body. I am...
We all want to be remembered for something, to be known as more than merely ordinary. We all want to be known as someone who truly made a difference, to leave an imprint on this world and to leave behind something that can make the future a little brighter.
Last week, I asked you what you wanted your legacy to be. How would people fill in this sentence? "I just heard Jen passed. She was a…"
For me, I want people to say. “I just heard that Jen passed. Wow, she was an amazing example of what is possible.”
Full disclaimer, I stole that statement from Brooke Castillo.
It resonated with me so strongly. I felt it was worthy of stealing. This is what keeps me motivated to keep showing up for myself in life. Because when I show up for myself, I can show up better for others.
I am a better manager. A better friend. A better sister. A better daughter. A better contributor to society.
Did you know? You get to choose who you...
Alfred Nobel, the Founder of the Nobel Foundation, was also the inventor of dynamite. That's a fun fact, but it's the story behind the Foundation’s creation that makes it interesting.
When Nobel’s brother died, the local paper printed his obituary rather than his brothers. After reading his own obituary, Nobel became concerned about how he would be remembered after his death. On November 27, 1895, Nobel signed his will which left 94% of his total assets, (31,225,000 Swedish kronor, equivalent to 250 million U.S. dollars in 2008), to establish the five Nobel Prizes for outstanding achievements in physics, chemistry, medicine, literature, and working toward peace.
After I heard this story, I couldn’t help but think about my own legacy. How will people finish the sentence, “I just heard about Jen’s passing. She was a…”
What do you think people would say about you? What...
→Inspiring your team to do their best work
→Giving up the need to micro-manage
→Having tough conversations without all the mental drama
→Having a life outside of work
→Enjoying your business again
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