I don’t have time…
How often do you find yourself saying these words?
I hear these words from business owners on the regular, and it is usually followed up with "my team should just know what to do."
Here’s the thing –
It will cost you MORE TIME in the long run if you don’t take the time upfront to set up a solid foundation for your business and your team.
And the big...
I am learning how to be a writer.
I am becoming a Life Coach.
I am cutting back on sugar.
I am starting an exercise routine.
I am learning to become an Entrepreneur.
I am (fill in the blank).
As you move towards achieving your goals, you are building a new identity. It's not merely something you are doing. It's who you are becoming.
Who are you becoming? How does that person make decisions? What does that person think? How does that person feel? How does that person act?
I often talk about living from our future rather than our past. Most of us look to the past for evidence on what will work or won’t work in our lives.
That thinking isn’t going to propel you forward towards your dreams.
When you look toward the future and make decisions for that person now, you are giving yourself a gift – the reality of your dreams.
To do this, you need to start to embrace the identity of who you are becoming....
That's what your brain will tell you as soon as you set a goal.
Remember, it's your brain's job to keep you safe and comfortable. It likes to maintain the status quo. It wants to be efficient, to learn quickly, and to adapt. Setting a goal – especially a huge goal – does none of these things.
So, what do you do when your brain starts flipping out on you?
You listen to it.
Yeah, I know it sounds counterproductive. Your brain is going to tell you every obstacle you need to overcome. Write it down. This exercise is going to help you identify the work that needs to be done. It also helps calm your brain down.
Your list may include things to research, time constraints, skill gaps, thoughts you need to work on…
All of these become part of your goal – the list of things that need to get done to achieve the result you want.
This is not a list of reasons why you don't move forward with your goal.
As I am building my business, my brain freaks out regularly.
Your brain needs direction.
Left on its own, your brain will allow you to stay safe and comfortable for the rest of your life. It wants to avoid danger at all costs.
That is your brain's job.
It is more comfortable for the brain to ensure that nothing ever changes in your life. It knows how to handle the same old, same old. Unfortunately, this means many of us live our lives on the rinse and repeat cycle.
This is where it gets tricky.
So many of us have things we want to do, accomplish, create. We want to stay comfortable, yet we want to change.
There is hope.
Learning to understand how your brain works allows you to start questioning how you have always lived your life. And from this place, you begin to realize you have a choice. You can stay in the same rinse and repeat cycle, OR you can start to rewire your brain and change your life.
This is why it is important to set a goal.
Goals allow you to create your future, not repeat your past. They allow you to start to live a...
Yes, stop focusing on the actions you need to take to achieve your goals.
As a Life Coach, one of the tools I teach is called 'The Model' developed by Brooke Castillo. The model is simple and is based on the premise that there are circumstances in the world that we cannot control ~ pretty much everything outside of ourselves is a circumstance - people, our past, events, etc. Circumstances are things that everyone can agree on:
'Your weight is 220 lbs.'
'You are a manager.'
'You have two kids.'
'Your spouse said you are lazy and never stick to a diet.'
All circumstances are entirely neutral. Yes, neutral.
What makes them not neutral is your reaction to these circumstances ~ your thoughts.
Here’s the thing…
Your circumstances are the only thing not within your control. Everything else is; your thoughts, your feelings, your actions, and your results.
Let that sink in…
The only thing outside of our control is our...
Last week, I wrote about the manuals we have for other people - the list of things people in our lives should and shouldn't do...so we can feel better.
Manuals never work. You will be consistently disappointed if you rely on others to make you feel a certain way. You are the only one responsible for how you feel.
Jen, did you know that we have manuals for ourselves, too? It looks a lot like "should-ing all over yourself."
"I should exercise more."
"I should be nicer to people."
"I should always be doing something productive."
"I shouldn't have said that."
"I should...fill in the blank."
Your personal manual contains the list of things you have decided you should or shouldn't do so you feel better.
What's wrong with feeling better?
Personally, any sentence that starts with "I should..." or "I shouldn't.." isn't generating a good feeling for me. I usually feel tired, guilty, annoyed, etc when I have these types of thoughts. And guess what? I usually don't do the thing I...
This past weekend I flew to New York to celebrate my twin nephews graduation. As part of their graduation gift, my mother gave each of them a copy of the book called “Life’s Little Instruction Book.” This book was written by a father for his son when he went off to college.
Did you know we have written little instruction books for the people in our lives too?
Written in these manuals are lists of all the things the people in our life should do or shouldn’t do so that we can feel better. Of course, we don’t actually tell the other person what’s in this instruction manual - they should just know what to do and how to treat us. Duh!
“My biggest fear is that I will fail.”
This is a pretty bold statement. Yet, this is the most common answer when I ask clients, "What is your biggest fear?"
When I follow up with "What does failure mean to you? Why are you afraid of it?" The response is usually a blank stare.
According to Google, failure is the omission of an expected or required action. That’s it. That’s not a big deal, right? Something didn’t turn out as we had expected.
What is so scary about that?
It’s the story we tell ourselves when we don’t get the expected outcome. And that story usually goes something like this:
"I knew it wasn't going to work. I don't even know why I bother. I am never going to do this again. I feel horrible. My life is never going to get better. I might as well accept this is how things will always be."
And so, you stop trying. Your life stays stuck. You stop...
→Inspiring your team to do their best work
→Giving up the need to micro-manage
→Having tough conversations without all the mental drama
→Having a life outside of work
→Enjoying your business again
I can help.
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