When your team starts working together, they are, in essence, a group of strangers.
Of course, the longer they work together under solid leadership, the more united they become
but (as you know) the path ain't all sunshine and roses.
Bruce Tuckman came up with the phrase 'forming, storming, norming, and performing' to describe the path most teams follow to high performance.
I like to share Tuckman's path with my clients because most are unaware of the natural process teams go through to get to high performance.
By the time they find me, my clients feel like everything has gone wrong, and they are an utter failure at leading a team.
Hello, Storming phase!
When I teach them the different phases and how to manage their team (ahem and themselves), they realize nothing has gone wrong.
As a side note: For those of you who are fascinated by group dynamics, start to pay attention, and you will begin to see these phases everywhere - FB groups, music...
It’s our first session together, she leans very close to the camera allowing me a close up of her tortoise frames and announces,
“Just so you know, I’m not a confident person so I’m not sure this whole leadership thing is going to work for me.”
as if she was reporting the weather.
I just smile.
I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have heard this exact phrase.
My clients think you’re either confident or you’re not.
And if you’re not, you need to just pretend and hope no one finds out.
That’s not how it works.
Self-confidence is a learned skill.
Did you know there was a difference between confidence and self-confidence?
Confidence is the belief that you can do something.
We develop this belief by doing a ‘thing’ a number of times until we are good at it.
If you start thinking about it, you can probably name a ton of things you are really good at.
Whereas, self-confidence is...
Before you can even start thinking about working with a team to grow and scale your business,
you need to begin with managing yourself first - which means managing your brain.
You need to evolve as a person to meet the demands of a growing business.
If you don’t learn more about yourself and understand what you need to learn to become a leader, you won’t be able to grow your business.
And this growth starts with your brain.
Your brain is the most important thing that you will manage, not just in your business, but for your life.
When my clients first come to me, they feel overwhelmed and exhausted.
They can’t see how their business will ever run without them hustling a million hours a day.
They aren’t having fun anymore, and they thought hiring a team would make everything easier.
Now, I want to highlight something very important.
It isn’t your business...
You have over 60,000 thoughts a day.
Most of these thoughts take the form of a story.
A story that plays in your head...over and over again.
A story about how your business should be growing faster than it is
A story about your team...or should I say STORIES about your team.
how they should know what to do, how hard they are to manage, how many questions they ask
When you start to pay attention to these stories, you will notice that
these stories make you feel a certain way (yes, you have feelings).
These feelings determine how you act ~ in your business and with your team.
Don't believe me? Answer this question.
How do you act when you feel anxious or frustrated or excited or inspired?
Feelings determine what you do, how you act, what you say
which determines the results you get.
Whether you realize it or not, thoughts and feelings are always running in the background.
If you are looking to get different results with your team - with your...
I received this mug from one of my team members for Christmas one year.
I proudly display it in my office.
Not as proof that I was a good boss
Because it represents the power of stepping into my role as a boss from a place of authenticity and integrity.
Our working relationship didn't start out as sunshine and roses.
We were two strong leaders working to do a good job.
We each had our role - and our own opinions.
She challenged me to grow as a leader and own my role as her boss.
And I did.
In every interaction, I showed up from a place of honesty.
Even when it was uncomfortable as hell.
She learned to do the same with me.
We had heated discussions, debates, and flat out disagreements.
We learned to respect the heck out of each other.
That's what this mug represents.
If you are struggling to step into your 'boss' role, this week's podcast is for you.
Grab your party hat!
I've got some great news! My new podcast is LIVE!!! .
In these first three episodes, I jump right into some basics of leading your team.
You, as a Leader - What story do you tell yourself about who you are as a leader? And is that story working for you? If not, you get to change it and decide what kind of leader you want to be.
Tune in to learn three great ways of practicing becoming the leader you want to be!
Expectations - This is my favorite topic to talk about because it makes your life as a leader SO. MUCH. EASIER.
In this episode, I get on my soapbox about the importance of setting your team up for success by telling them what is expected of them. Such a cutting edge topic . Oh! And I teach you how to it.
Accountability - This is...
You thought hiring a team was going to make your job easier.
You have employee issues you know you need to address, but you aren't.
You are sick of your team asking you a million questions. They should just know what to do.
You think your business will never be able to run without you.
You want your team to feel like one big family, and it does – too bad, it's a dysfunctional one.
Behind closed doors, you feel like a fraud, and you hope 'they' never find out you are just winging it.
Your health is suffering because you are too focused on everything and everyone else.
You don't sleep well.
You overindulge in - food, alcohol, work, Netflix, etc. - as a way to escape.
Vacation? What's that?
You know things can't go on like this, but you don't know where to start.
Is this you?
Yeah, it's okay.
You aren't alone.
And you're right; it can't go on like this.
You'll burn out.
Your business will suffer.
Your life will pass...
If I just set my team up for success, I know they can handle it."
This was one of my client's a-ha moments today.
But let me back up to last week...
"It will never run without me."
Of course, it = her business.
And, of course, this was a fact. She was just reporting the news to me.
What a difference a week can make!
So how did she make that shift so quickly?
Here is the thing about coaching, my #1 job is to show you YOUR BRAIN and your limited thinking.
Remember, the stories we tell ourselves drive the results we get in our life.
If my client continued to tell herself that story, she would be 100% correct. Her business would never run without her.
Instead, she hired me (smart woman) and in a week.
She was telling herself a different story.
All it took was her to open up her mind to the possibility that she was wrong coupled with a little practical homework and
She is now starting to think about how she will...
Such a simple word.
As a society, we like to replace it with OR.
You either this OR that.
All OR Nothing.
We are complex beings.
We are all things.
As women, we are:
Feminine AND Masculine
Confident AND Insecure
Outspoken AND quiet
Motivated AND complacent
Focused AND Distracted
You get the idea.
Unfortunately, we are taught to choose one or the other – or at least pretend to be one and not the other.
We are taught to hid part of ourselves.
So much pressure to live that way.
Can we stop this bullshit limited way of thinking once and for all?
Can we embrace ALL of us?
The good AND the bad.
It’s time to take the pressure off.
Let’s start living the full story of who we are.
Imagine what we can do in this world if we stop wasting energy trying to meet everyone’s expectations.
It’s an impossible task.
So why don’t we try a new way of being?
PS: I am committed to...
→Inspiring your team to do their best work
→Giving up the need to micro-manage
→Having tough conversations without all the mental drama
→Having a life outside of work
→Enjoying your business again
I can help.
I’ve got a FREE Training of proven techniques that will show you exactly how to Transform Your Business with Effective Leadership.