How to increase self-confidence

Sep 01, 2020

It’s our first session together, she leans very close to the camera allowing me a close up of her tortoise frames and announces,

“Just so you know, I’m not a confident person so I’m not sure this whole leadership thing is going to work for me.”

as if she was reporting the weather. 

I just smile.

I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have heard this exact phrase.

My clients think you’re either confident or you’re not. 

And if you’re not, you need to just pretend and hope no one finds out.

That’s not how it works.

Self-confidence is a learned skill.

Did you know there was a difference between confidence and self-confidence?

Confidence is the belief that you can do something.  

We develop this belief by doing a ‘thing’ a number of times until we are good at it.

If you start thinking about it, you can probably name a ton of things you are really good at. 

Whereas, self-confidence is important when we start talking about things you’ve never done before.

Self Confidence is the belief in your ability to learn

Your willingness to feel any negative emotion.  

To try and fail and get up try again.  

To not beat yourself up or make it mean anything.

Self-confidence is being secure in yourself and your abilities.   

It’s your ability to trust yourself knowing that you can experience any emotion – including failure. 

Sound impossible?

It’s not. 

You can learn to be self-confident.

Your ability to trust yourself is a big part of creating self-confidence.

Trusting yourself comes down to knowing you will do what you said you will do.  

You’ll follow through on your plan

even when you don’t feel like it. 

This is very different from saying you will do something and then you hope you follow through.

That opens the door to self-doubt which is the opposite of self-confidence.

If you can’t count on yourself, you will feel insecure and not in control.

To build trust in yourself is to consistently follow through on your word to yourself. 

The more you do this, the more self-confidence you will build because you are teaching yourself that you are a person who does what she says she is going to do.

Do you see how this is a learned skill?

You can look at this from a leadership perspective, too.

The #1 topic I coach people on is having a difficult conversation with their employees. 

Yes, they aren’t fun. 

They aren’t comfortable BUT they are part of your job. 

And they more you recognize that you can have these conversations even though they don’t feel great, the more trust – self-confidence – you will have in your leadership ability.

Make sense?

I love teaching people how to increase their self-confidence.

I love what it does for them and how it benefits all the people around them.

Tune into this week’s podcast to learn how to increase your self-confidence.


PS: If you'd like a personalized approach to addressing your business needs, I  invite you to fill out an application to work with me one-on-one. 

Working with me allows us to customize strategies to set you and your business up for success based on your individual needs.   

It is the fastest way to get the results you are looking for. When you hire me, it's like hiring a business partner whose only agenda is your success.  Click here to schedule a strategy session today.  










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