Such a simple word.
As a society, we like to replace it with OR.
You either this OR that.
All OR Nothing.
We are complex beings.
We are all things.
As women, we are:
Feminine AND Masculine
Confident AND Insecure
Outspoken AND quiet
Motivated AND complacent
Focused AND Distracted
You get the idea.
Unfortunately, we are taught to choose one or the other – or at least pretend to be one and not the other.
We are taught to hid part of ourselves.
So much pressure to live that way.
Can we stop this bullshit limited way of thinking once and for all?
Can we embrace ALL of us?
The good AND the bad.
It’s time to take the pressure off.
Let’s start living the full story of who we are.
Imagine what we can do in this world if we stop wasting energy trying to meet everyone’s expectations.
It’s an impossible task.
So why don’t we try a new way of being?
PS: I am committed to...
Do you have days when you feel like you live on a deserted island within your own company?
As a business owner, it’s you and only you to handle the day-to-day issues and questions.
You are responsible for everything from the customer experience to employee management – which can feel completely overwhelming.
You have to dance that fine boss/friend line.
It’s awkward critiquing your employees, especially if you feel like you have a close relationship with them.
It’s frustrating when you want to get your work done, but you are constantly being interrupted with questions - and you don’t want your team to think you don’t care.
Being the boss means you don’t have anyone to turn to shares your fears, your wins, your insecurities.
You are constantly questioning whether you are making the right decision, what you should or shouldn’t say, what should or shouldn’t do.
It would be nice to have someone to lean on. ...
are you afraid to lead your team?
Before you answer...here's a reminder of some of the items on your job description…
Ok, now answer my question.
Are you thinking, “Oh hell yes! I have no problem doing any of these things.”?
Did you suddenly feel like you were at the leadership buffet, picking and choosing what you put on your plate, “I’ll take a little expectation setting but hold the accountability…”
Maybe you were thinking, “Are you kidding me? I have to do these things. WTF?”
If you weren’t a ‘hell yes’, why?
"I don't want to hurt her feelings."
My client just spent 10 minutes venting to me about one of her employees who continues to mess up at work.
Her error has impacted their customer service and resulted in the rest of the team picking up her slack.
When I asked her why she hadn't addressed her behavior, she told me she didn't want to hurt the employee's feelings.
She isn't alone.
This is a common response.
My clients hate having tough conversations. They don't know what to say. They are afraid the employee may react emotionally.
They will avoid them at all costs.
I hate to be the one to break it to you. Avoiding these types of conversations will cost you more than just feeling uncomfortable.
Avoiding difficult conversations with your employees will cost you the growth of your business.
If you need a team to help you grow your business, you are going to have to have difficult conversations.
As leaders, we are often challenged with knowing 'the' right way to handle a situation.
These past few months...days...may find you struggling even more than usual.
Such heaviness in the world.
The advice I give leaders (and myself) is to be authentically YOU in everything you do.
This will look different for each person, for each event, for each day. And that is okay.
There is no right way.
My advice is to check in with yourself first. How are you feeling? What is going on for you? Get clear in your head. Feel all the feels.
This doesn't mean tuck away everything going on in that beautiful brain of yours and getting on with business as usual.
It means to acknowledge your truth.
And then check in with your team. Give them space to be human. To feel. To react. To process.
Then figure out how to move forward with work today. And then the next day. And then the next.
Compassion and kindness - for your team - for you.
Your employees should cost you nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nada.
They should make you money.
Your team exists to execute your business model and generate revenue.
Your team doesn't exist to suck up all your time with questions, with drama, with training.
I understand. You're not alone.
When you've never been taught how to set up systems and processes for your business and lead a team, it feels impossible.
So many of my clients hired their team to fix a problem.
That only makes things worse.
Here's the thing.
Before you hire a team, you need to have your systems and processes dialed in.
I know, I know. That sounds so boring - and it is at first.
BUT then it is incredible because your business starts to run like a well-oiled machine.
You no longer have to worry about 'Sally' ever leaving because she is the only one who knows how to do that thing.
Your business is no longer people dependent.
Once you have your systems and...
Here's your PSA for the day: You're the boss.
My first team were fifteen Jersey girls who were older than me, had way more tenure, and worked remotely in the field. My office was in the "Ivory Tower" (our corporate office).
Not my dream job.
I had no training (big shocker), and I had some big goals.
I was clueless.
As a hardcore people-pleaser, I thought I'll get in there and be their friend. Get them to like me. Once they like me, it'll be rainbows and sunshine.
Not so much.
Each of them had their way of doing things, and they had been doing it this way for a long time. They had no interest in changing.
"It ain't' broke, so why fix it."
Except it was 'broke.'
Something was going to have to change, but I was struggling with what to do next.
Then my knight in shining armor, in the form of my HR Manager, arrived.
She talked me off the ledge and gave me permission to be the boss.
"You need to use the boss card."
"They are doing their own thing...
I was swimming in insecurity yesterday, like it was my job.
I was talking to a girlfriend about how horrible I am at all.the.things (such a drama queen).
"You? You always seem so confident."
My response (in my head), of course, was, "Girl, you're cray, cray! Can't you see all the crazy floating around in my head?"
My real response was, "Hmm, that's interesting."
The truth is sometimes I am like, "Bring it world. I got you." And other times I am like, "I'm just gonna crawl into this hole and hide. I'm not feelin' it today."
Ah! The joy of being human.
So why all the insecurity, you ask?
I am building a business, and it is uncomfortable.
This month, I decided to join a Mastermind my coach was offering because I know there is power in taking this journey with entrepreneurs on the same path as me.
And it has been amazing, but it is also highlighting areas of growth for me.
The journey of entrepreneurship has been fascinating. It's challenging so...
→Inspiring your team to do their best work
→Giving up the need to micro-manage
→Having tough conversations without all the mental drama
→Having a life outside of work
→Enjoying your business again
I can help.
I’ve got a FREE Training of proven techniques that will show you exactly how to Transform Your Business with Effective Leadership.